the universe is not conspiring for me…why?

Have you ever had a goal in mind you really want to achieve but none went your way and end up getting frustrated because the universe seems to be not on your side? I guess we all have moments like that especially when we figured out after n years of living what we really want in life. Do not give up and be patient. Keep doing what your gut is telling you. Let me tell you a story about the love-hate relationship between a person I know and the universe and I hope this will inspire you to not give up on your bucket list.

This person was not born with a golden spoon in her mouth. But she had dreams you will think way too impossible given her family’s financial status. Nonetheless, she kept working hard. She had faith but just like the others, we sometimes get weak and ask if dreaming is just a waste of time. There was this time she told her self to just live in her simple comfort zone. However, her gut was telling her otherwise. She wanted to persevere amidst the things life had been throwing to her. There were a lot of times she considered giving up and wonder why this was not what the universe wanted for her.

And then one day, after years of waiting the universe conspired for her dreams to come true. It was scary because all her life she thought the universe hates her for being too ambitious and all of a sudden everything went smoothly towards what she wanted badly. Yes. She achieved what her mind conceived not a day after she had set her goals not even a year later but in time she did thru years of hardworking and praying.

One day you’ll get there…

Some people might get what they want in an instant others do not. We all have different timelines and the universe knows when is the best time. Never give up on your goals. Listen to your gut and keep working and praying. One day the universe will surprise you and conspire and when that time comes, go with it. You are limitless.

Dreaming in time of corona

Are you one of those who said that 2020 will be the year you are going to achieve your goals? Because I did. Before 2019 ends, I looked back and realized that I have been delaying my long term goals for instant gratification. I told myself that I am gonna work harder. Then 2020 started and I was very motivated to exert extra effort for the universe to conspire for my dreams. But then COVID happened and everything has become uncertain up until to this writing.

Is it still worth it to start pursuing our dreams in time of Covid19? Can we still cross out one of those goals in our bucket list? Why do we need to work for our dreams if tomorrow is full of uncertainties? Can we postpone achieving or even setting our goals? Is it still okay to dream?

With the new variant of the virus, another level of anxiety may arise (or has arose in some places). The world hasn’t healed well from the original variant and now we are facing a more contagious one. We couldn’t blame people from getting scared about the future. And it is okay if you have decided to create a list of your 2021 goals. It is okay if you aim to achieve those this year because you know what they say? Nothing is impossible. But, remember, it is also okay to hold back if you think you are not yet ready; prolly the time for you to rest your mind, body and soul, and once you get that energy, you will be ready to put that game face on. It is okay to start your dreams now, tomorrow, the next day or until the world stabilise. Whatever you are comfortable with, dream on.

Dreaming during a pandemic is difficult. At the moment, we can still dream, work for them to become reality or just write them down. As we wait and hope for a brighter light, let’s help one another. Let us follow the protocols our place has put to prevent the spread of the virus. Wear mask, wash hands frequently, and stay home if you do not have any urgent matter to attend to. Stay safe, dreamers!

To all my friends who loved before

I have been some of my friends’ confidant with their relationships’ ups and downs. Sometimes I ask myself why me? I have been single since the beginning of time (LOL) so where will I get the words of wisdom they need? 😀

It has been years since the first friend of mine shared her fairytale that did not end into a happily ever after, then months after another friend had the same dilemma until I lost count. Looking back, I realised how immature I was before than now. I used to tell my friends who kept going back to their exes how stupid they are. But as time goes by, I have realised that my friends do not really need my advice – they know the answer, their guts are shouting if they should either stay or leave the relationship. You are what they need – someone who will listen and not judge them. Advise them if you see something is clearly wrong on what they are doing, and if they do not listen, please stay and try again.

There are times you will feel like you are repeating yourself – same advice different person. I hope you never get tired lending your ears and arms. Embrace it. Learn from it.

If you are like me who constantly receives good and bad love life news…may you feel blessed with all those souls willing to give you a part of it.

To all my friends who loved before, sorry for judging your decisions. I will try my best to become a better person and look at as many sides of the story as possible before drawing conclusions. Thank you for sharing an important part of your life. Whatever you decide may you find the happiness you deserve. And to those who got broken, may you heal well, and grow into a person your past and present self would be proud of. I pray that all of you find your right person in the right time and place. As you journey to meeting Mr/Ms Right, remember that my line is always there for you (just needs a couple of wave before answering. LOLjk).

i miss you…

i miss you
your good mornings your good nights
i miss you

i miss you
the kiss the touch
i miss you

Have you noticed the ‘i’?
The computer is intelligent enough saying it should be ‘I’
But i think you made me forget the ‘I’

i miss I
letting you go made me realise that
i hope i find my ‘I’ you buried deep in the time zone of us

Hello, everyone! Just walking through the web now to greet everyone a HAPPY 2021! I know my greeting is long overdue. LOL. I miss you all. I hope to post more this year. *fingers crossed*

14 Budget friendly gift ideas for guys

Are you also struggling to find a gift for your brother, boyfriend or husband? Let’s admit it, finding gifts for her is relatively easier than for him. I know the stress because I have been living in a household dominated with guys so here I listed some gift ideas you can give:

  1. Boxer shorts

2. Dri-fit shirt

3. Jersey shorts

4. Polo

5. Bag

6. Tool

7. Computer parts

8. Socks

9. Earphones

10. Cellphone case

11. Tshirt

12. Watch

13. Plants

14. Gardening stuff

Fave spots in South Korea I’ll never get tired visiting

One of the best travels I had was when we went to South Korea. Aside from their plausible films and music, the place has a lot to offer. I listed my fave places I’ll never get tired visiting below:

Garden of Morning Calm

An aboretum located at the east of Seoul housing different species of plants. I am a fan of all kinds of flowers and plants – they calm my soul. A must include spot to your itinerary.

Rose theme garden of Seoul Grand Park

Did I just say I love flowers? Nothing much to explain why this one is on the list. Here’s the story: this place was not in our itinerary that time (originally, it was a place with tulips but we learned that the flower was not in season during that time), but I badly wanted to go to a place with lots of flowers and Google brought us here!!! One of the best unplanned place.

Gyeongbokgung Palace

I am a big fan of the TV series Jewel in the Palace that I watched it twice despite the length of the film. LOL. Therefore, this one was a must visit for me. And when I was there I realised the place was too big and one visit won’t be enough. I’ll definitely go here again and again wondering and imagining the events that happened in the place during the old time.

Gwanjang Market

I always look for a new food from a new place. The perfect place? Gwangjang Market! The market has a lot of food to choose from that one tummy is not enough. Hence, you’ll definitely plan to visit this one again. We even visited this twice to eat our favorite fried soybean.

I just hope we can all travel again to visit our favorite places. 🙂

Just do it

This is not a commercial for rubber shoes. But, if you are looking for a sign whether to create your YouTube channel or not right now, then you are in the right place. I am telling you, sign up NOW and UPLOAD the content you’ve been thinking of for days. Even science will tell you to listen to your gut. Watch the video below:

Life is too short to waste your years thinking about all the uncertainties. You are 20 right now but in a snap you will be in your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60, 70s, and find yourself asking what did I do with all the time I had? Regrets usually come from the things we did not do, not on what we did.

There are moments when an idea suddenly comes and you just want to jump in but then doubt and fear will try to pull you back. Most of the time we give in to these weaknesses we all have. It’s fine to have a little hesitation, move a step backward and weigh the pros and cons. And, if you think you are not hurting anybody, then do what you want to do. Do not think of what other people might say to your decisions, besides the choices you make today will determine who you will be tomorrow. Regardless of the outcome, at the end of the day the lesson/s you learned will allow you to grow.


3 reasons why you should travel

I know we are still in the middle of a pandemic but when everything becomes ok consider traveling. Here are the 3 reasons why you should start exploring different places.

1. Say hi to new people

Growing with the same people is not bad but meeting new people is during your travel is a different topic. Below is the talk of Christa Awuor about going out and meeting new people.

I am telling you, getting to know new people during your travel is life changing. New souls from new places are gifts for our well-being.

2. Open your mind

Are you thinking of someone right now with a belief way different from yours? Sometimes you disagree with them but other times you will get into thinking that person has a point. Traveling is one of the bet ways to understand life further.

As you travel you will see different people, culture, beliefs and food (my fave part) that may be way different from yours and this will open up your mind on the diversity of life. Go out and explore.

3. Learn more about yourself

A lot of times we think we know ourselves fully. But wait until you travel from places to places. In each place you go, facing challenges and opportunities is inevitable. However, they are good parts of your travel as you learn things you did not know you are capable.

As you go home safely from a place you’ll realise you learn something new about your self and you are not the same person before your travel. Allow traveling to help you grow into a better person.


Love for preloved: 13 reasons why you will also love thrift shopping

Some people may find shopping therapeutic. An escape from their daily hustle. A way to detox. But, there are moments that we are just an impulsive buyer and sometimes it could hurt your purse. One of my to-gos shopping place is a thrift shop because if ever I see a good item and impulsively buy it, the guilt is lesser since it is way cheaper than in the mall.

Here are the 13 reasons why I love buying preloved stuff (you might also consider becoming one *wink*).

  1. Saves a lot of money

The number one reason why I love thrift shopping is that you try to get what you want without breaking the bank. I found a Zara white polo which I really really love to wear because its material is linen and I got it for PhP 50! It was a steal because I think that would cost me around PhP 700 above in the store.

2. Unique pieces

Looking for a retro, modern, minimalist outfit? The thrift shop gotchu! Let’s admit it, some stuff in the mall have lots of copy you’d sometimes end up getting a seatmate with the same outfit. There are a thousand unique items you can find in any big thrift stores and it is rare that someone might also be wearing that style.

3. Excitement of finding a treasure

Going to a thrift shop is like entering a mining site to find a gold. Several racks and shelves are places you’d want to explore. You might also enjoy digging in a pile of clothes. Regardless of brand, if you found an item that sparks joy, wouldn’t you consider it a treasure worth finding for?

4. Finding luxury item at a cheaper price

Are a fan of high end brands like Burberry, LV, Prada, Dior, Chanel? Or mid brands? We all know these pretty things will definitely hurt our savings. No worries. You can still enjoy these stuff at a lower cost. Go to your favorite thrift shop! Comment down if you experienced finding an authentic high brand you really liked in a thrift shop.

5. Bargaining challenge

I know. I know. Thrift shops offer cheaper stuff. Let me tell you a hack…some of these stores will allow you to bargain or get high discounts from the original price of the item you want. Just make sure to double check for flaws before you ask the seller.

6. Lots of old stuff (for those sucker for vintage items)

I am a sucker for vintage. Old style of clothes, watch and shoes should get out of my way if I am on a budget ‘cos I won’t hesitate to add them in my cart. If you’re like me who loves anything vintage, then let’s head on to a thrift store.

7. Shop til you drop

Thrift stores are so big you’ll literally drop your energy spending a hours finding good stuff. Aside from getting tired from shopping, the low price of the items would allow you to shop more stuff than when you do your shopping in the mall. So prepare your body and wallet. LOL.

8. The story behind the item

You know at this moment that I love anything vintage and it is because getting an old thing allows my mind to wander through time. For instance, I got a fully functional vintage watch produced 30 years ago; I had been imagining the story of the watch from the time it was bought by the original owner up to the time I acquired the item. Isn’t it interesting?

9. Quality stuff

I mentioned before that you have a chance to get a high end brands in a thrift store which are usually of high quality. But aside from the high end brands, there are also thousands high quality clothing there if you know how to spot one. There are a lot of cheap brand new goods in the market but have you considered the quality of those items?

10. Rare finds

Unique and luxury items are the things you could anticipate when you are going to do thrift shopping. There are brands that produce limited number of certain items and if you are lucky enough, you might be able to find these rare treasures. You might be one of the 20 people who have that kind of piece.

11. Unleashes your creativity

Because the thrift shop is a house for a lot of preloved items, you can do mix and match with all the pieces you found. With your creativity, you could get less than 10 nice and unique stuff to create a week or two of outfits.

12. You help people

You basically help the sales people and business owners of the thrift shop. I watched a documentary about some garment and textile industries that shows how people there are being exploited just to produce cheaper goods. And choosing preloved goods could be your little way to bring a message to those exploiting people for money from that industry.

13. Favorable to the environment

Thousands of clothes goes to landfill. To produce a t-shirt you will need gallons of water. These are just some facts about the possible impacts of fast fashion. Choose sustainable fashion instead. You are expressing yourself through your clothes without compromising the environment of the future generation.

Breast Cancer Awareness Month: my 10-year breast lump story (details on cost, check up, duration of surgery, etc.)

Disclaimer: I am not a registered physician. This is just my personal experience and should not take the place of medical advice.

I’d been contemplating on whether I’d post this or not for months now. My hesitations I guess come from the what ifs inside my head. But, today, I am conquering my fear and finally writing this. It is not a big thing to others but thinking that I might be able to help someone with this post is one of the factors I am putting this out.

When did I first feel the lump of my life?

My mother and aunt had also a lump history when they were younger so it is highly likely that I’d get a lump in my lifetime. I was taught by my mother the most basic way to check for a lump – feeling your right breast with your left hand and your left breast with your right hand while lying down or standing up. I have been doing this I think 3 years after I had my first period every month. One day, I felt a circular hard lump in my right breast. I double, triple, nth time checked and I even compared it with my left breast but I knew back then that it was not normal. I could not remember the exact month but it was in 2007 I think because I was in high school that time.

What did I do when I first felt an unusual lump in my breast?

To be honest, I did nothing but I was scared. I did not even tell my parents about it because our family was under financial crisis and I was thinking that I should not add another burden to our existing problem. As a teenager trying to be a silent hero in the family I just thought that I’d rather keep it and die. And I realised later on that it is okay to tell it to your family because they will understand and find ways to find a remedy to the situation.

How long did I keep it to myself?

Are you going to give me credits if I tell you that I did not keep this secret from my family for 10 years? LOL. During my freshman medical exam, one of the requirements was to get a medical examination in which a doctor will check you for lumps. Of course I could not hide it from a doctor so she told me about it and advised me to tell my parents. And guess what? I told my parents about it. Look who’s obedient here. LOL. My parents told me to get it removed ASAP. But again, wonder woman wannabe here did not do what was needed to be done. I was not scared of the pain, I was thinking it might cost a fortune. I finished my college degree with my lump still in me. So basically around 6-7 years had passed already.I just hoped that it was benign.

When did I decide to get a surgery? (cost, pre and post check-ups, surgery duration, recovery period)

My first, second and third work did not require me to get physical examination and you already know what’s next…I still did not get surgery after 3 years of working. I had thoughts of what if this and that. I do not have a million in my savings yet. Just like a typical person who is not confident with the budget on hand, I did self research about lumps. I could not find the exact cost of surgery. Every blog I read would tell me to get a check up because that’s when I’d know how much would it be. But I needed exact numbers. I heard chemotherapy and radiation cost thousands and I was sure I could not afford it.

I did more research on signs of cancerous lump (WHICH BTW I DON’T RECOMMEND. JUST GO SEEK A DOCTOR WHENEVER YOU FEEL A LUMP IN YOUR BREAST). My parents were nagging me from time to time to get the lump removed but I was stubborn because according to my self research – my lump was benign (and again do not do it. GET A DOCTOR TO PROPERLY DIAGNOSE YOU!) which I was still not sure and anxious about.

I started my graduate studies 2 years after I started working. One of the perks of studying in that university I was taking my grad studies is you get cheaper to no cost of check ups and discounted medical procedures. I was thinking to get the surgery before I finish my studies to get big discount. So a year before I graduate I finally decided to undergo surgery, however, working and studying were never easy back then because both demanded large portion of my time. Good thing, every December we would get mandatory leaves starting from a week before Christmas and we would resume work after New Year’s Eve. And as every students know, this is also Christmas break. The perfect time for my surgery.

Here’s the timeline of activities before and after surgery:

First week of December: I asked a friend who was her surgeon when she had a breast lump surgery. She referred me to her doctor. As what she had told me, the surgeon was really nice. Never did she make me feel uncomfortable nor intimidated. Her initial diagnosis was it was benign because the margin was clean but she told me to get ultrasound. The check up was around 400 pesos.

Second week of December: I got the ultrasound and even the doctor who did my ultrasound was surprised to know that I had the lump for 10 years. She second the motion what my surgeon told me. I was happy to know that. I forgot the exact amount for the ultrasound but I am sure it was less than 1000 pesos. I went back to my surgeon to give her the results. She told me that I have a choice on whether I’d remove it or not. But since I already started the process might as well finish it. I had 4 check ups and 1 ultrasound before the surgery. I was also given 2 options for the surgery: 1. Local anaesthesia: I’d be awake and only the part where the lump was located will get numbed; 2. General anaesthesia is where you are totally unconscious and unaware of the procedure. I chose the first one because it was cheaper (~5000 pesos if you have PhilHealth) instead of the second choice (~13,000 pesos with PhilHealth).

Third week of December: I was scheduled for an out-patient surgery. Guess what again? I only told my family about my surgery a day before the procedure! I was planning to do it alone because it was just an out-patient. Good thing, they did not allow me to go to the hospital all by myself because before and after surgery I needed someone to fill out forms.

During the surgery: I was conscious. There was only one nurse that assisted my doctor in the operating room. Like in the movies, you’d see the lights that looked like honeycomb or the surgical light. I changed my clothes to a hospital gown. The skin where incision was done was sterilised first followed by the injection of anaesthesia. There was initially no pain but as the cut gets deeper I got to feel pain and told the doctor. She added anaesthesia and when I had my full dose and still felt a little pain I remember that they put metal plate under my leg which I think to divert the pain. It was a fast surgery – around 2 hours. My doctor even showed my the lump she got. After closing, I changed back to my clothes, pay the bills and bought the prescribed medicine (pain reliever and antibiotic).

Recovery: The lump they got from me was brought to a biopsy lab to get checked if it was benign or cancerous. I needed to wait for a week to get the results from the lab. The doctor told me that I will be able to go back to normal 2-3 weeks after the surgery. After 2-3 weeks I was able to go back to work and I even went to the hospital to get the results of the biopsy test and thank the heavens it was benign.

Bonus advice: SEEK A DOCTOR the soonest you felt a lump in your breast. Tell someone about it.